I'm feeling the exact same way about my son! But I am 63 and he is 19. He and I either don't talk or butt heads. He used to be my little buddy. I am mourning my relationship with him. I'm not sure I'll ever get it back. I also had the same experience with a niece who I treated like my own. She got to be a surly young adult and we've never been able to reconnect even though she is not is her late 30s. It makes me not want to be close to my nieces and nephews anymore. It's too painful.