I am the adopted parent of two sons and we have fostered and had one disruptive adoption. I can only say hang in there. We went through a lot with the oldest and I will say that he now seems at the age of 24 to come out on the other side. He seemed to outgrow a lot of what you are talking about. Therapists were of no help. It's easy to sit in a chair and make judgements. We had a psychiatrist who was helpful but hard to get ahold of. We just ended up slugging it out day by day. The feelings that you are normal. There were times that I wanted to send him away to one of camps but I don't trust them plus I worked in one and it was abusive to the kids. I'm also surprised that its the youngest that you are having trouble with instead of the older ones but may there was more drug use in utero. Bless you and your family and know that you are doing everything that you can to make his life better. My concern is for his teen years. I know that is probably your concern a well. Good luck to you and keep on doing what you can.