As you know, my younger son has gotten himself into a peck of trouble due to his drinking. He just turned 20. Now, where do we go from here? Yes, we have stepped in a couple of times to pay his rent, but we make him come over to the house and do work in exchange. Are we doing the right thing? I don't know. His Christmas present was enough cash to pay his fine for the month. I didn't say that was what it was for. Hopefully, that is what he will do with it. Are we doing the right thing? I don't know.

He's twenty. At twenty, my parents were paying for my college and living expenses. I was doing stupid things at twenty. I don't think I could have made it on my own at twenty.

Now, his bio mother is very critical of us. She has said we need therpy to deal with co-dependence. She came from family of hard knocks like you did. She was into drugs and alcohol and gave up three children for adoption. Would it have been different if her parents had helped her?

I don't know. Her family sounds awful to me.

I'm sorry that you went through what you went through. I think your upbringing made you feel as though you deserved it. No one deserves it. Isn't the point of family to be there to help? But, I know some people take advantage of it. I have a family member like that.

Where do you draw the line? I certainly don't know. I hope your son gets help. I know you have tried and are at your wits end. Many blessings to your family.